Noah’s Ark 1999

影评 (39)

1. R

   Ruben Quiroga Kanahuaty 2026年8月25日

   This was made for children. I have faith in that. As awful as its special effects. Great actors drown in this horrible music and fake story.

   4
2. S

   sadahs 2026年8月25日

   Didn’t watch but lived it

   4 2
3. G

   Gavin McDowell 2026年8月25日

   This is a review of Part 1 only. This is one of those Hallmark/NBC event miniseries that ran from the late nineties to early aughts. I watched The Odyssey and vaguely remember Merlin and Alice in Wonderland coming out. This one? I’m not so sure. My memories have become mixed up with reading reviews about how terrible it is. The title card announces that the creators have taken dramatic liberties with the story, which is a necessity if you want to make a three-hour adaptation of four chapters of Genesis. What this means in practice is that they threw the Noah AND Abraham stories in a blender. The dramatic centerpiece of this first part is the destruction of Sodom and…

   3 1
4. G

   Gabe Rodríguez 2026年8月25日

   Around 1997-2000, NBC began producing a string of fantasy-based miniseries. Adaptations of THE ODYSSEY, MERLIN, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, and THE 10TH KINGDOM all aired around this time. None of these were great, but the worst of all was NOAH’S ARK. This miniseries was written by Peter Barnes, a playwright notable for THE RULING CLASS (a comedy about a British noble who thinks he’s Jesus) and THE BEWITCHED (a satirical look at the Spanish Inquisition). While I don’t know if Barnes was religious or not, I think it’s fair to say he clearly enjoyed poking fun at organized religion with a satirical edge. I get the impression he wrote this script as a parody of the Noah’s Ark story, NBC jumped…

   14 1
5. G

   Gavin McDowell 2026年8月25日

   One of the many writings of the tenth-century Jewish philosopher Saadia Gaon is a refutation of Hiwi al-Balkhi, a cultured despiser of indeterminate religious background who wrote a surface level account of the absurdities and contradictions in the Hebrew Bible long before r/atheism was a thing (Google lists his profession as “Critic”). If Saadia had not drawn attention to the work and quoted it in his response, we would not even know it existed. Thank you, Saadia! Noah’s Ark is more Hiwi than Saadia. It’s presented as family entertainment but its approach to the story of Noah convinces me that someone was trying to sabotage it from the inside. It has a consistently jokey and unserious tone. That’s not the…

   5
6. G

   Gary Van Buren 2026年8月25日

   A title card at the beginning of this old NBC miniseries announces, “For dramatic effect, we have taken poetic licence with some of the events of the mighty epic of Noah and the flood…” And I’m thinking: “Some?” I didn’t realize the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah happened before the Flood, or that Lot was Noah’s old friend…who later becomes a pirate! Noah’s wife Naamah (Mary Steenburgen) even jokes that future scribes will write their story and never mention that Noah and his family were there. That’s why I’m thinking this must have been written as a near-parody. There’s simply no other way to explain some of this plot and dialogue. The whole thing owes more than a little nod…

   1
7. B

   Ben Buckingham 2026年8月25日

   I knew I was going to have to watch this as part of my Carol Kane deep dive, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. Why did it have to happen? Look at that cast again and then ask your stupid question! I watched it over two days, and on the third day I wished there was more! Madness! Yes, madness, but a very particular kind of madness. The kind of 90s madness that happens against the backdrop of a hugely popular TV show (Hercules and Xena in this case). The kind of madness that gets shot in Australia because it’s cheap. The kind of madness that happens before religious madness completely takes hold of the country of origin and…

   13
8. C

   Cheeseball127 2026年8月25日

   This sucked. It was too violent and not really Scripture. First off, Noah was before Lot so they never met. Second, Noah never helped the bad guys with their wounded. Even in the beginning of the movie they say that this is not true Scripture. Someone tried to put the two stories together and got it all wrong. I do not recommend. EVER!

   2
9. N

   NotASexyVamp 2026年8月25日

   A three hour NBC mini-series adaptation of a story that isn’t anywhere near that long. Like Darren Aronofsky’s significantly better Noah, this has to add stuff to pad out the runtime. Unlike that film, this miniseries goes about that by adding Lot and his wife as friends to the Noahs which is wildly biblically inaccurate (Lot was a descendant of Noah and lived hundreds of years later). I also don’t think the final third of this which has every human member on board the ship losing their goddamn mind is biblically accurate either, but it is thoroughly entertaining. Apart from the near blasphemy/dramatic liberty this takes, it is nevertheless deeply boring. Jon Voight’s Noah just isn’t very interesting and the…

   3
10. P

    Perrito Cinéfilo 2026年8月25日

    Originalmente se estrenó como miniserie y aún así no funciona. Tiene demasiado, DEMASIADO relleno. Al principio está buena pero después del diluvio (a la hora y media) se vuelve pesada y aburrida. Sí, fácilmente pudo durar hora y media, pero a alguien se le ocurrió que sería genial hacer una serie de dos capitulos de hora y media sobre un relato bíblico de por lo menos tres párrafos.

    5
11. R

    Recha 2026年8月25日

    🇧🇷 kkkkkkkk acho muito engraçado esse contexto bíblico que ele colocam junto com um pouco de comédia no filme quando eu assisti no SBT na infância ele parecia ser MUITO melhor… 🇺🇸 kkkkkkkk I find this biblical context very funny that they put together with a little comedy in the film when I watched it on SBT in childhood, it seemed to be MUCH better…

    2
12. L

    Lollo Oliveira 2026年8月25日

    a drunk guy who never read the Bible overheard a conversation about the bible Flood, and putting together cheap comedies, random Bible verses and some post apocalyptic ideas writes Noah’s Ark. This is the only explanation for this movie. The characters are stupid and with idiot motivation. sometimes lacking completely of moral and/or mental sense. None of them are really inspired by the real biblical account. In the end, this movie is so bad it’s so good. I still wonder how Murray could join this beautiful mess.

    5
13. G

    Gavin McDowell 2025年11月3日

    This is a review of Part 1 only. This is one of those Hallmark/NBC event miniseries that ran from the late nineties to early aughts. I watched The Odyssey and vaguely remember Merlin and Alice in Wonderland coming out. This one? I’m not so sure. My memories have become mixed up with reading reviews about how terrible it is. The title card announces that the creators have taken dramatic liberties with the story, which is a necessity if you want…

    3 1
14. Y

    Yosef Paulino 2025年7月29日

    O filme deixou a desejar nos efeitos especiais que foram bem pobres

15. G

    gabrielcds 2025年6月19日

    fezes.

16. M

    msummerset 2025年6月4日

    lol felt like a parody or comedy sometimes, but I loved seeing the animals (as badly faked as they were).

17. N

    NotASexyVamp 2025年4月19日

    A three hour NBC mini-series adaptation of a story that isn’t anywhere near that long. Like Darren Aronofsky’s significantly better Noah, this has to add stuff to pad out the runtime. Unlike that film, this miniseries goes about that by adding Lot and his wife as friends to the Noahs which is wildly biblically inaccurate (Lot was a descendant of Noah and lived hundreds of years later). I also don’t think the final third of this which has every human…

    3
18. S

    Soulali 2025年4月19日

    I only watched this because it was Holy Week. The acting? Wow, truly unforgettable… in the worst way. Like seriously, spare me. I didn’t even have a choice.

19. P

    PANAGIOT 2025年4月14日

    A great movie with nice effects

20. B

    Ben Buckingham 2025年3月2日

    I knew I was going to have to watch this as part of my Carol Kane deep dive, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. Why did it have to happen? Look at that cast again and then ask your stupid question! I watched it over two days, and on the third day I wished there was more! Madness! Yes, madness, but a very particular kind of madness. The kind of 90s madness that happens against the backdrop of a…

    13
21. B

    Bensky7 2025年2月8日

    Just the worst thing I’ve ever seen. For whatever reason, this movie mixes together the story of Noah with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot is an evil pirate who escapes the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, only because his friend Noah warned him. Later, when the world is flooded, Lot and his crew try to commandeer the ark, only to be fought off by Noah and his family. …

    1
22. B

    BrowncoatGirl 2024年5月24日

    Since it was Flood Day yesterday, we decided to try some Noah movies we’ve never seen before. We usually watch the Russell Crowe one, but you get sick of watching it every single year, ya know? We turned this 1999 version off within ten minutes. THIS IS NOT TRUTH! This isn’t the story of Noah. They even added a disclaimer in the beginning that they took ‘creative liberties’ with it. And ho baby, did they ever. Lot’s story came AFTER…

23. J

    Jrm Sprds 2024年3月3日

    Ten Commandments meets Waterworld. Things this movie has: – Jon Voight as Noah AND the voice of God. – Carol Kane turning into a pillar of salt. – The priests of Molech: “I forget what we’re doing tonight.” “We’re sacrificing a virgin to the rain god Molech.” “What for?” “Rain!!” – Mary Steenbergen. – Alexis Denisof and his doppelgängers.

24. E

    escasso 2023年10月18日

    Lecturer made us watch this bullshit.

25. N

    Nurialsarabia 2023年9月26日

    Sobrevalorada. Es un poco coñazo y aburrida. Si no te puedes dormir por la noche ponte esta peli y ya verás como concilias el sueño rápido.

26. L

    lilonée 2023年7月26日

    best version fr

27. F

    frank von tiers 2023年4月7日

    MASTERPIECE

28. G

    Giovanni Francesco 2022年12月13日

    Meu deus esse filme é horrível de mal feito mas fez parte da minha infância e eu adorava kkkkk

29. W

    Wanderreis 2022年11月21日

    .

30. 1

    192000 2022年4月17日

    Prácticamente, sin Noe no estaríamos aquí. No sé si eso es bueno o malo.

31. T

    Timbonious 2021年12月21日

    This is the best Noah’s Boat story where John Voight talks to himself. This mishmash of unbelievable truly needs to be seen for ones self; I can say that it’s memorable and life changing… for many reasons.

32. J

    Jônatas Iwata 2021年11月29日

    Ló já existia antes do dilúvio e vira um pirata que tenta atacar a arca enquanto é rechaçado pela esposa do Noé e sua enchurrada de pães de alho? Achei épico.

    2
33. S

    Senhor Ivan 2021年8月19日

    Filme que mais se repetia nos finais de ano do SBT.Chega até ser um bom passatempo,apesar de trazer uma trama toda furada e efeitos visuais de quinta. O grande destaque do filme fica por conta de John Voight ser um dos principais,mas se apresenta sem muita vontade.

    1
34. P

    Prad Bitt 2019年11月20日

    Hay una escena donde ya ocurrió el diluvio y se supone que todo el mundo está muerto, según la Biblia. Lo que esta película hace es que sale de la nada un vendedor en un barquito vendiendo ropa y hay un montaje de las esposas de los hijos de Noe probándose ropa. También hay una escena con Noe hablando con Dios y termina bailando en el arca. Chale, que risa da que nada tenga sentido aquí y da más risa si te sabes la historia jaja

    1
35. D

    David Pousak 2019年8月13日

    A complete tonal mess of a miniseries. How did I make it through this? Maybe it was the fact that I just wanted to get to any parts with elephants? That’s definitely it.

    1 3
36. G

    Gabe Rodríguez 2019年3月5日

    Around 1997-2000, NBC began producing a string of fantasy-based miniseries. Adaptations of THE ODYSSEY, MERLIN, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, and THE 10TH KINGDOM all aired around this time. None of these were great, but the worst of all was NOAH’S ARK. This miniseries was written by Peter Barnes, a playwright notable for THE RULING CLASS (a comedy about a British noble who thinks he’s Jesus) and THE BEWITCHED (a satirical look at the Spanish Inquisition). While I don’t know if Barnes…

    14 1
37. G

    GregoryJ 2018年3月9日

    When I was younger I used to like this version of the story.I guess I thought it was another fairy tale.But now it simply didn’t work for me.

    1
38. K

    KLIM DEMPSEY 2016年4月4日

    Decided to see another adaptation of the Great Flood story, which turned out to be a total mess, in a form of mini-series. The events from Genesis are reordered and compressed in this re-imagination of the biblical story. Sodom and Gomorrah face God’s wrath, and only Noah (Jon Voight) and his friend Lot (F. Murray Abraham) are chosen to escape from the sinful cities. Now wait here just a minute! When in the hell did Noah and Lot meet? They…

    2
39. C

    CRI Z 1999年10月24日

    TV (RTL), 1999 Teil 1, 24.10.99 Teil 2, 25.10.99